The Mother’s Day Message I Wish I’d Heard…
Mother’s Day didn’t always feel like a celebration for me—and I know I’m not alone in that.
I haven’t shared this very openly before, but it took my husband and me almost four years—and eventually going to a fertility clinic for 4 rounds of IUI (intrauterine insemination)—to have our first son. During that time, even though my heart wanted to be happy for everyone else, it was really hard to see others with what I longed for so deeply—and not knowing what the future held made it even harder.
And even once he was born, Mother’s Day didn’t suddenly feel easier. I still dreamed of having more children, and it was almost another four years (and another 6 rounds of IUI) before our second son arrived. Even as a mother, I felt sadness for the vision of my family I was still waiting for. Thankfully, our third and fourth kids were happy surprises (we joke that we finally figured it out!).
If you’re someone who’s on that journey right now—waiting, hoping, trying—I want you to know it’s okay to feel sad today. You’re not doing anything wrong if you need to step back or protect your heart. Be gentle with yourself. Trust that, even if you can’t see it yet, things will unfold in the way they’re meant to. If someone you care about is going through it, be mindful of how they may be feeling.
And I know there are so many other reasons this day can be hard: if you’ve lost a mother, if you wish you had a different relationship with your mother, if you’re grieving in your own way. I’m holding space for you too.
At the same time, I want to honour all the ways women nurture. Whether you’re a mom to children, to nieces or nephews, to pets, or simply someone who nurtures and cares for others in your life—I see you. Women have an incredible ability to nurture in so many different ways, and that deserves to be celebrated.
Wherever this day finds you, I hope you can give yourself a few quiet moments just for you. In my opinion, that’s the best gift of all: a moment to breathe, to rest, to remember that you’re worthy of love and being taken care of too.
Thank you for being part of this community. If this message resonates—or if you’d like to share how you’re spending Mother’s Day—I’d love to hear from you.