ThisWhy it feels so hard to love ourselves (and how to start)
In Bali, we used fire to let go of what we wanted to leave behind… and to invite in what we wanted to carry home.
What thoughts would you release? What would you like to welcome in?
When I was in Bali, I heard several people share the same belief: the most important thing in life to be happy is to be kind—and to smile.
(I hope you’re not tired of my Bali stories yet , because I have one more to share that really struck me.)
That doesn’t just mean kindness to others, but also kindness to ourselves. That’s an area many of us struggle with. When I ask women to name one thing they love about themselves or are proud of, they often find it difficult to come up with something. It feels much easier to spot our flaws than our strengths.
But here’s the thing: when we’re overly critical of ourselves, it often spills over into how we see others too. The very things we judge most harshly in other people are often reflections of what we find hardest to accept in ourselves.
One gentleman in Bali explained it beautifully: when you have an area of discomfort—physical or mental—the first step is to send that area love. To tell it: “I see you. I’m going to take care of you. It’s going to be okay.”
That struck me as simple, reassuring, and beautiful.
And here’s the fascinating part—whether you see this through a spiritual lens or a scientific one, our thoughts do affect our energy. You may have heard of Dr. Masaru Emoto’s work, where he studied how water crystals changed shape depending on whether they were exposed to kind, loving words or music or harsh, angry ones. The difference was remarkable. If you’re interested in having a look, check out his book “The Hidden Messages in Water”.
If our words can affect water… imagine what they can do to us.
So here’s a little practice I’d love for you to try: each day, look in the mirror and simply say, “I love you.” It might feel silly at first, but it can only bring positive impact. Because the truth is: you are worthy of love. You are enough. Right now.
That doesn’t mean you can’t also work toward a healthier, stronger, more confident version of yourself—but love needs to come first.
A next step in self-love
Part of caring for ourselves is how we fuel our bodies and move each day. That’s why I’m excited to be rolling out a new 3-week program for just $99 US.
It’s a beautiful opportunity to give yourself this gift of health and self-love without a huge commitment. If you’re curious, [here’s the link to check it out.] We will get started October 13.